The Darlington great-gran who's laughing through dementia

FOR most people, dementia is no laughing matter. But Maureen Kay is no ordinary person.

At 83, the great grandma is preparing to make her stand-up comedy debut in front of a packed audience at Darlington Hippodrome theatre.

It’s her way of showing that a recent dementia diagnosis isn’t going to get her down.

“Whatever’s happened in my life, I’ve always tried to look on the bright side,” she says in the accent she’s never lost since growing up in the East End of London during the war. 

“You can either laugh or cry, and I prefer to laugh. I’ll probably be a bit nervous on the night but it’s a new challenge, so I’m happy to give it a go.”

Maureen is one of the acts lined up to take part in a ‘Dementia’s Got Talent’ contest – thought to be a world first – that will take place at The Hippodrome on January 21 next year.

(Image: Peter Barron) Organised by Dementia Friendly Darlington, the show will feature a variety of performers – singers, dancers, musicians, poets, and comedians – all determined to demonstrate that a dementia diagnosis doesn’t mean that their lives are over.

In Maureen’s case, it’s a chance to stand up to dementia by telling funny stories from “the good old days”.

“I enjoy looking back, I’ve got a million stories to tell, and I like to make people laugh, so I decided to put my name forward,” she adds over a cuppa in The Hippodrome café.

As a cockney, born in Stepney, in 1941, Maureen was the fourth of seven children. Her dad, Reginald, served in The Army, and her mum, Audrey, was a nurse.

“I can remember, from being very small, how we had to move around because of being bombed, or sometimes take in other people because they’d lost their homes,” she recalls.

“We were poor but it’s what we knew, and we still had fun. We’d make dens in the bombed-out buildings. They were our playground.

“Weekends used to be bath night. A tin bath was brought into the sitting room and Mum would fill it with water boiled on the cooker. The oldest child went first, and got the cleanest water, while the littlest one went in the sink.”

As the memories continue to flow, she frequently throws her head back and chuckles – her sense of fun infectious despite having recently been told she has dementia.

“It’s funny, I can’t remember little things like people’s names now, but I don’t have any trouble remembering what happened all those years ago,” she explains, swiftly moving on to the sticky subject of gobstoppers.

“Whoever had money to buy a gobstopper got the first suck, and then it went round in circles, so everyone got to have a go until it was finished. Germs weren’t invented in those days. We had Hitler to deal with – we didn’t have time for germs!”

Maureen says it's her way of showing that a recent dementia diagnosis isn’t going to get her down (Image: Chris Barron)

Rhubarb comes next. She’s chuckling again as she tells how she used to pinch it from the allotment behind her school and walk home with it hidden up her knickers.

"It still tasted alright!" she quips.

After leaving school, she got a job on the hair products counter at Woolworths, then promptly got the sack for telling a customer – in the bluntest of terms – that she was a thief.

“She kept buying hairnets, then bringing them back a week later, claiming there was a hole in them. I knew full well she was on the fiddle but, at Woolies, the customer was always right, so I got the boot.”

She decides to leave it there for now because she understandably wants to save her best material for January 21. “I’m still working on my routine, so I’d better stop!” she giggles.

Maureen came to Darlington for love 34 years ago when she married John, a printer. Now a widow, she has four children, 20 grandchildren, 11 great-grandchildren, and lives with her cat, Olly.

After her dementia was diagnosed, she became a member of The Cuckoo Club, which was started nearly two years ago by the Alzheimer’s Society and Dementia Voice Darlington.

It’s a social club with members meeting every Thursday at the Hippodrome for tea and chat, as well as taking part in fun activities and walks.

It was when the organisers of Dementia’s Got Talent contacted the club in search of performers that Maureen stepped forward.

“I’ve never been on stage before – except when I was in trouble at school – and I just thought it would be a nice thing to do,” she says.

“It’s something to tell my grandkids about, but it’s also about raising awareness and showing that life goes on after dementia.”

Lesley Brown, who runs The Cuckoo Club alongside Kath Leighton, has no doubt that Maureen will be a hit.

“She’s a born entertainer,” says Lesley, whose husband has dementia. “She’s got so many tales to tell, so much life experience, and she’s always making our members laugh – I think she must be related to Peter Kay!”

Joanne Hendry, Community Engagement Officer for the show’s sponsor, care company Home Instead, is thrilled with the response to the event.

• Anyone interested in taking part, either individually or as part of a group, should email joanne.hendry@darlington.homeinstead.co.uk. Application forms and tickets are also available via the theatre’s box office.

Maureen Kay with Joanne Hendry, left, and Lesley Brown (Image: Peter Barron) “It’s been fantastic,” she says. “We’ve had applications from all sorts of acts coming in, but we still want more, so we’re extending the deadline until November 15.”

Relaxed auditions will be held throughout November to choose the final line-up to perform in front of the audience and a panel of judges, with myself as compere.

The aim is to raise £25,000 for the Alzheimer’s Society and dementia groups across Darlington.

It’s going to be a show like no other and, before she goes, Maureen Kay has another thought that comes with a cheeky wink: “I might do a bit about sex education!” she declares.

That’s another story…