I HAVE been up and down the Dales in the last week for various reasons and have been having fun spotting election posters.

John Blackie, Robin Scott and Rishi Sunak have quite a few scattered about. Please note how they have been alphabetised to avoid claims of bias. Rishi tends to have lots in one place as if supporters have been given a bag full and reminded about Labour's plans for a mansion tax.

"They're going to do what to people who own homes over £2m? Margaret, get the step ladder out of the east wing – I'm going a hammering."

In some Dales villages, a consensus appears to have been reached – presumably at a well-attended public meeting – and everyone has agreed to vote Tory. What other explanation can there be for scenes like those in Wensley where the village green has been turned pale blue by the large Conservative Party posters.

Independent candidate Robin Scott's posters are an attractive royal blue with a flash of red, while JB has gone for black and orange which is equally as eye-catching.

On my travels up dale, I am yet to find a poster being discussed on social media which apparently urges voters to opt for John Blackie rather than someone from Pakistan, except they don't say Pakistan.

Nobody that I have talked to has actually seen the outrageous poster – and Mr Blackie said he would rip it down if he did – although others have heard the rumour. Given than someone would surely have taken a picture had such a disgraceful poster been erected, perhaps it's just a rural legend. The first mention of it on the internet seems to be from a Tory supporter. Take from that what you want.

On Tuesday, I had reason to drive up Coverdale on my way to West Yorkshire. Between Wensley and Kettlewell, I didn't see a single election poster, although I did see two for a DJ Wilko disco in Carlton Village Hall this Saturday night. Priorities spot-on, clearly.

Upper Wharfedale always strikes me as resembling the Emmerdale or even In The Night Garden television set. Beautifully manicured gardens, a spotless 4x4 in the drive, no cow muck or rusting farm machinery to be seen anywhere.

Countryside Light if you like, which I don't, which doesn't really matter as I couldn't afford to live there even if I did.