THE oldest boy has passed his driving test. It's a significant milestone in anyone's life when you can go out for a meal, have a few drinks, and then ring a child to pick you up afterwards.

Our very own teenage taxi service which will last until the novelty wears off or his car collides with a hedge in a late-night "not my fault, something was wrong with the steering" incident.

It's quite touching seeing him and the other new drivers parked up in the auction mart car park in their little hatchbacks. You can tell you're in the sticks by the CB aerials attached to the roof. I can't see one without breaking into the Convoy lyrics.

"Breaker one-nine, this here's the Rubber Duck. You gotta copy on me Pig Pen?"

In other news, the sign greeting customers to the Chinese restaurant and takeaway has been puzzling me for a quite a while now.

"Due to the current circumstances we can't accept card payments on weekends," is the general wording. It's not 'current circumstances' it's 'the current circumstances', suggesting we should all be fully aware what said circumstances are.

I though about asking the staff but I prefer to speculate wildly. Are the circumstances referred to something that is happening globally? The scandal at Fifa or the threat from IS perhaps. Maybe it's something more local.

"In support of our local farmers, I will not switch on the card machine on a Saturday or Sunday until supermarkets increase the price they pay for milk." That kind of thing.

Sadly, I suspect it is something more mundane - the card machine has been possessed by the ghost of Mary Queen of Scots who like Henry Ford was a firm believer in the five-day working week. Monday to Friday it processes card payments quickly and courteously, often inviting customers to have a nice day.

It's a different story on Saturdays and Sundays, however, when it remains silent and refuses any attempts at swiping, although if you get really close you can sometimes hear the faint voice of a sobbing woman mumbling about a lost shawl. The owners have thought about bringing in a medium to speak to the woman but apparently the device is contactless.