IT had been a fairly quiet week and I was wondering if I was going to have to fill the column with my top ten favourite plants in the garden that people have given me but I don't know what they're called.

Number one - a big bushy shrub thing that the cat I like least sits in.

Two - a plant that is probably a weed but every time I pull bits out, it comes back stronger. The plant and I have now agreed a truce. I wish it was a spruce as we would have a spruce truce.

Anyway, that was the fall-back plan until one of the boys was bitten on the bum by a fish. Column gold, I thought as he recounted the tale in an fruitless bid for sympathy.

The drama occurred when the boy had gone swimming in the River Ure with friends after school. The world wide web was broken possibly.

I didn't really believe him at first. After all, this is the boy who told his primary school teacher he was allergic to fish when the class was discussing what pet they should get. He's not allergic to fish, he just wanted a more exciting pet.

But then he showed me the wound and, to his credit, it does look like he has been bitten on the bum by a fish. I have swum many times in the River Ure and every single time I have worried about being bitten by a fish.

To now have evidence that suggests this was a real danger is a big deal. But what kind of fish was it? I have seen pike as big as cocker spaniels in the Ure but aren't they solitary, shy fish? There's a big debate on the internet, as there is about most things, about whether pike attack humans. Perhaps the boy's bum is evidence that they do.

The problem is that we can't really print the evidence. Although this being a teenage boy, I suppose if anyone really does what to see the injury, they could always hang about on the internet pretending to be a 16-year-old girl who wants to share saucy selfies.