THERE'S been a lot of changes in the household since last week, with the biggest being the demise of the toaster.
Toasters never go quietly. Smoke, flames, blown fuses - there's never any doubt with a toaster. Not like a computer which tends to wind down slowly, going through months of 'will it or wont it fire up' before finally giving up the ghost and losing years of family snaps in the process.
Every family needs a good toaster. I tried to make toast using the grill for several days post toaster death, but found it virtually impossible to take out the bread in time before it became charcoal. The demise of our latest toasting device meant an opportunity to upgrade. After all, what is life about if it's not to strive for better household appliances.
Would you like to toast four slices of bread at once? Yes I would. What about toasting from frozen? Ooh yes please. And what if I said this machine would reheat toast? I'd snap your hand off - and then attempt to toast it. And then reheat it.
People may mock a man taking pleasure from the purchase of a new toaster, but I say to those mockers "does your toaster have a cancel button that glows neon blue?"
When not buying toasters, we've also been attending school sports days this week. Hmm, sports day. Perhaps there will be a dads' race and perhaps the father who was clearly wearing running spikes on his brogues who won last year's race is now an absent father.
Before the main event, there was a number of children's races to be endured. I asked the youngest boy why he'd chosen to take part in the skipping race, given that he can't skip. Or why he's entered the fancy dress race, given that it takes him at least half-an-hour to put his pyjamas on ready for a bed.
He said it was all about taking part, rather than winning. "Are you sure we're related?" I asked him.
As it turned out the fathers' race was replaced with a wet ball sponge filling up a bucket race, which did not have the same appeal. To ease my disappointment, I raced the boy home. I used to let him win but sadly no longer have a choice.
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