NOTHING symbolises Christmas more to me than World's Strongest Man on the telly.

Some people say the competitors only get to be man mountains because they take boat-loads of steroids, but I like to think it's just hard work in the gym that means a man to pull a lorry.

This year's viewing has been tainted slightly however because my head has been turned by another man's television. I thought our standard-sized TV was adequate until I saw a 65inch 3D Super HD monster and now I can't stop thinking about it. We don't really have space in the front room but I'm prepared to sacrifice a sofa if necessary.

What else can we talk about? Mad Friday? Pubs across the Dales were busy apparently, with some of the busiest making the most of the opportunity by providing food for drinkers.

Answers on a Grinch postcard though to the pub who told a bus load of thirsty workers that they needn't bother stopping because there was no way they were opening ten minutes early.

I haven't got much else to say this week so as it is nearly Christmas and Christmas is a time for charts and fluffy animals, I thought I'd recount my three favourite anecdotes about lambs. Please beware that it gets pretty unpleasant from here on in.

In third place we have the story of the new press photographer who went to document the lamb who was best friends with the dog. The photographer stunted up various poses - dog on lamb's back, lamb on dog's back, lamb cuddling up to dog etc. All was going well until the dog decided enough was enough and turned on the lamb. The photographer found another career shortly afterwards.

In second place we have the lamb who lived at Tan Hill a few years ago. As lambs often do, it had a rubber ring placed around its bits. After a few days the bits fell off and, in front of a bar full of horrified tourists, the pub dog scoffed them in one gulp.

And in first place we have the Dales farmer who put a poorly newborn lamb in a bucket on the fire to warm up.

Quite what happened next is unclear, but the farmer forgot about the lamb and left.

When he returned he found his front room on fire. For the sake of any children reading the lamb survived unscathed.